3 Brown KIDS and Counting!!!

Let's just ignore the fact that this poor blog has had radio silence for several months.  I have a semi decent excust

We always knew we wanted more than 2 kids when we started down that road and toward the end of the summer, started talking about adding numero tres to the mix.  Being the overthinking analytical Type A person that I am, I had planned out starting the 'let's pull the goalie' process for October/November-ish because it worked well with the timeline I had.  We've been renting our house until we figure out where we want to move and with our lease being up at the end of April, I didn't want to move A)with a newborn or B) hugely pregnant.  My October/November goal fit both those requirements but my sweet, loving husband seemed to have forgotten that little conversation we had and oops...wouldn't you know it?  I got all sorts of knocked up last August.  Which gave me a due date of early May.  What's that saying?  If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.  Yeah...pretty much.

Once I find out I'm pregnant (at least with both Selah and Harrison), I (usually) get a couple of weeks of not feeling any different.  You know, enough to make one think they're not going to feel bad.  Then it all kinda goes downhill.  And boy did it go downhill this time.  Wow.  I was soooo much sicker this time; and for far longer than with either of the kids.  Whereas I was pretty much done and feeling better by 10 weeks with both kids, this time I was still feeling like death up until about 15 weeks.  And 'morning' sickness is a total crock.  It's all day sickness folks.  With Selah and Harrison, I was just really tired for the first few weeks and had that constant carsick feeling.  Nothing too horrible.  This time, it was the world's worst hangover ALL DAY LONG.  For 3 months.  I cried a lot.  And looked downright awful 95% of the time.  And let's not forget flying with the kids to Florida to see the in-laws right at the start of all the craptastic feeling period.  Picture Harrison strapped to me in the Ergo, me pushing the stroller with his car seat in it and hoofing it through the terminal with Selah running behind as I'm dry heaving and gagging, trying to find the bathroom.  Luckily, I didn't barf all over the poor kid's head.

So here we are, mid February and I have a little under 3 months left to go.  Seriously no idea where the time went on this one.  I've been so insanely busy the last few months between homeschooling Selah, photography sessions, working for the hubby's business and trying to keep up with 2 small people who have an endless supply of energy.  Before we know it, this little lady (yes, it's a girl...the only time I accurately guessed our kids' gender) will be here and hopefully I'll still have some sanity left to go with it!

Our family photos for this year.  The kids were originally supposed to be holding a 1 and 2 balloon, respectively, but the 2 exploded in the car on the way up the mountain so just the 3 it was!  Which probably worked out for the best because by the time we took this pic, it was 45 degrees out, a few meltdowns had already happened and no one was going to cooperate and hold the other 2 balloons.

Who doesn't like dragging their kids to the middle of a corn field when it's 20 degrees out to take a gender reveal photo?  Totally worth it for just that 1 photo.  Every mom knows exactly what I'm talking about ;)

Welcome to the family Baby Girl Brown!

2 Kids : Six Weeks In

Has it really been six weeks since Harrison was born?  Really doesn't seem possible and that's not the sleep deprivation talking!  I'll admit it...I was slightly terrified of having a newborn and a toddler thanks to some slightly ignorant comments from people regarding how hard it is to go from one to two kids, although I'm hoping it was well intentioned???  I even had someone tell me my life would be over once the baby arrived.  Gee, can't wait to pop the kid out and hate life.  Hate your life much?  So that didn't exactly set me up for feeling super confident when it came to raising 2 kids.  So how has it been? 

Sleep was a toughie and at the same time, not as awful as I was expecting.  When Selah was a newborn, the sleep deprivation hit me like truck.  A truck driven by an elderly person blasting into the front of a grocery store because they mistook the gas for the brake.  You know what I'm talking about.  There were days I definitely should not have been driving I was so tired but I considered it a success when I made it back home with Selah in one piece.  But with Harrison, I haven't dealt with the same mind numbing exhaustion nor the dread of what a setting sun meant for me.  Yes, I'm definitely tired and resemble a corpse (albeit a drooling corpse) if given the opportunity to nap but it's waaay more manageable this time around.   Thankfully Selah is still taking an afternoon nap and most of the time, I get Harrison to take one during the same time so I have a little time to myself to catch up on things around the house or if I'm really lucky, pass out face down on the bed for an hour or so.

Some of those 'well intentioned' comments were of their kids being insanely jealous of the new baby.  I have yet to see any of that happen with Selah.  I have seen nothing but overwhelming love for her little brother...it's awesome.   Well, maybe not so awesome when she's dragging him by the legs to 'put him in the Boppy because he wants to see', putting her toy stethoscope on his head to play doctor or putting her huge stuffed Winnie the Pooh over his face because 'Harrison wanted to see Pooh'.  She's very caring and sweet toward him and gets bummed when she hears he won't be going somewhere with her.  I can't wait to see what their relationship will be like when he gets a little older.  I read a comment online a few weeks ago that I found helps a lot with managing 2 kids at once: if both of the kids need something at once, tend to the older child first and then the baby.  If Selah wants a cup of juice and Harrison is starting to get fussy, I get the juice for her and then pick baby bro up and give him what he's looking for...usually food.  Always food.

I'll be honest, I was a little freaked to run errands by myself with the 2 of them.  Not sure exactly what I was scared of but you know...being outnumbered by little people can do that to you.  The first trip alone was the ever awesome Target and equally intimidating Costco.  I tried to minimize the chances of epic meltdowns (from both the kids and myself) by timing them between feedings for Harrison and lucky for me, all went well; not including the 2 bags of dark chocolate covered pretzel crisps I had to have from Costco.  I'm now pretty confident in taking the kids out by myself and even took them to the park today.  Harrison decided to pass on the monkey bars and nap while Selah was running around like a crazy person.

Will there be times when they're driving me nuts and I'm hiding in our closet with my foot keeping the door from opening?  That's probably a big fat yes but right now, I'm going to keep on floating on my happy mom-of-two cloud.

Moms...it really is a jungle out there!

Do a search of the toughest jobs on the earth and you'll get a few results:

Skyscraper window cleaner.  Just the image alone makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and vomit.  Me and heights don't do super well.  Case-in-point: I had a panic attack at the top of the Empire State Building and had to be escorted down in a service elevator with 2 security guards and just Dan and I.  Yeah, that's not embarrassing at all.

 

(Buzzfeed)

Oil Well Driller.  Can't you just see me on a rig slinging slinging these things around?  Yeah, didn't think so either.

 

(Buzzfeed)

A Deminer.  Have you ever changed a teething baby's diaper blowout when they have the stomach flu?  Um yeah.  Okay so it's not blowing my arm off but still...dangerous.

 

(Buzzfeed)

But somehow being a Mom wasn't even mentioned.  And while the actual job of being a mom to your children can be so daunting at times, it's the mom vs. mom war I'm referring to.  Yes, the Mommy Wars.  Why hasn't Steven Spielberg made a movie outta that??  Guaranteed blockbuster.  As if trying to keep a tiny, helpless baby alive while saving for their future therapist's fund wasn't hard enough, dealing with the "super informative" (major finger air quotes there) input from other moms is enough to drive you batty with self doubt and a touch of rage.

I got my first dose of it before I was even pregnant.  It came in the form of basically being told that keeping our dogs once we had a kid was tantamount to tossing them in a shark tank doused in chum.  Who knew.  Aaaand then once Selah was actually born, holy cow did the judgement and comments start flowin': 'you put your baby in her crib, alone, by herself at 3 weeks???', 'why would anyone want a painful, natural delivery...just schedule a c-section', 'she's cute now...just wait til she gets older...then your life is over', and my personal favorite...'if you'd tried a little harder, you would've been able to breastfeed longer'.  That last one was heard way too many times to even be mildly appropriate and every single time it was like a dagger to the heart.  But I was a new mom who was struggling with being exhausted, trying to figure out what the heck I was doing and what the heck she wanted with each cry, and I didn't have the wherewithal to tell those people to shove it and keep their uninformed opinions to themselves.  Or, if I'm being completely honest, seriously consider a hefty backhand.

And I'm not talking about well intentioned and informed advice. When I was pregnant with Selah, I decided I wanted a natural delivery with a midwife at a nearby hospital.  I'd talked with other moms who'd had natural deliveries and they'd all raved about them.  Yeah, they hurt and was hard but you're delivering a baby people...not getting a mani pedi.  So I immersed myself in all the statistics and research I could regarding natural deliveries and some of the risks of epidurals and c-sections.  So if someone asked my opinion on the matter, I could give them an informed, non-judgemental opinion based on research and data.  Not one that's based solely off emotion that could make them feel bad because that's the quickest way to turn someone off a certain topic.

And it doesn't stop with delivery choices.  I've heard the gammut of opinions - to me and to friends, some well intentioned...most not.  From formula feeding ('you clearly don't care about your baby') and breast feeding ('okay lady...not everyone wants to see your boob') to co-sleeping ('you care more about your baby than your husband') and crying it out ('your kid is going to grow up to be emotionally scarred and traumatized'); moms who go out in public wearing sweatpants and slippers ('what a lazy slob'), moms who dress nicely with their hair and makeup done ('talk about high maintenance...who does she think she is?'); vaccinating ('you're poisoning your child') and not vaccinating ('you're contributing to the comeback and surge of diseases').  I could go on.  And on.  And on.  And on.  Get the picture?

What the heck ladies?!  When did it become okay to make other moms feel like a complete craptastic failure?  Do you feel so badly about yourself that making another mom feel inferior makes sense?  Last I checked, I don't remember stepping into a time machine and going back to the catty high school days.  Unless you see a mom letting her kid play with steak knives while roller blading on a balance beam....let it go.  Remember those first weeks where you were so tired there's not even a word for it?  The first time your baby was sick and you were Googling symptoms and remedies in the middle of the night?  Think of how vulnerable you felt then and how you'd feel if someone were belittling your fight to keep your baby healthy and loved with all of your might.  Think of those moments and maybe, just maybe, you'll keep that next comment to yourself.  Build fellow moms up, don't tear them down because remember, it really is the toughest job out there.